detroit is right
Detroit? Not so much, Chicago? Close, maybe..
This was just a snapshot, no thought other than it was my first time to NYC, I was there for a week of art class. The towers are there, the city was big, I remember being amazed at the amount of people hustling and bustling through the streets at all hours. I ran into my friend Lee, out of nowhere.. It was the first time I had been to an actual living city so to speak, I loved it, a couple years later Laur moved to Brooklyn and I hated NYC, then she moved back and I loved it again.
To this day, every single time I see 911 or 9:11am/pm on a clock, I think about the World Trade Center and all the people and families. I think about my cousin Ryan who immediately joined the Army, how I almost followed him but did not have the nerve. I think about a friend from high school, Raymond Plouhar, a Marine who was killed in Iraq on his second tour, after donating a kidney.
The last time I saw Ray, I was just out of high school, I had no idea where I was going, he was in 12th grade and I’m sure he knew he was going to be a Marine.
RIP Staff Sergeant Raymond Plouhar
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
"I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes"
"Great hopes make great men"
Many times throughout life we face the realization, nothing can stay the same and ultimately all things die. Change is constant and nothing stops for you.
I recently moved back to Michigan after being gone 8 years, I’ve come home to Ypsilanti, a place I have called home many times since the age of 19. On the surface, many of the places appear to be the same as when I left, many of my friends appear to be the same, but I know it has been 8 years. When you get close, there are cracks, new groups of people have replaced the old and there are more important things to do.
As much as I wanted my old friends to be here still or how I expected the town to be the same, I knew what the reality would be. Change is constant, when you’re in the middle of it for years, it’s still there, you just don’t realize it, because it’s little steps and overall it’s minor to you. When you step away for 8 years and come back, it’s becomes major.
I was fortunate to make some really great friends in Georgia and Florida, I miss them dearly, but it never really felt the same. I always felt like I was on a business trip or on vacation visiting them in their towns. (Except for when I was physically on the ocean or staring at it, strangely, the ocean always felt like home, I believe deep down, we are all tied to either the ocean or the dirt, one or the other.) When I moved back to Michigan in December 2012, Ypsi was where I headed, I let go of the last 8 years and moved. The feelings were mixed, but it felt like I was returning home, I felt relieved.
I am settling back in, and yes the town is different, my friends are different, life is different. It’s been 3 months, setting aside all the fun times, bad times, memories and advances in my life over the last 8 years, for the first time I feel like leaving was a mistake. I feel like I missed a huge chunk of something, something that I’ll never get back and will not be able to replace.
I was 31 when I left for Georgia in 2005, I realize now that I let go of everything I had built since the day I moved to Ypsilanti for college at 19. I never thought that foundation or those years of my life could be taken away or be affected in my mind.
"There is nothing permanent except change"
"If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I’d still swim. And I’d despise the one who gave up."
(all photos on this blog 35mm film and digital by FRYEDEYE)